Oddly enough it was one evening when my little brother was more than three hours late. I had anticipated spending the evening with him for weeks. I made a cross-ribbed roast with carrots, new potatoes, avocado salad with capers and garlic bread. It was one of his favorite meals.

I ended up having to turn the roast down to 200 degrees and wait it out. When Tony finally showed up, with no excuse for being late, I was absolutely sure the dinner would be completely ruined. But, it was the most tender and juicy roast any of us ever had. The gravy was incredible too!

I don’t know why that was a turning point for me, but it was. I began to try very hard to be flexible, to give up the rigidity that controlled my life.

Flexible: Them: Yes ___ No ___

Years ago, prior to my 30’s, I was one of the most inflexible individuals I have ever been aware of. It boils down to having no control in my childhood. I grew up in a household where children were “seen and not heard.” My parents used to plan our chores so that we were never able to complete the tasks set before us. We never were asked our opinions on anything, unless it was our birthday and then we got to choose the menu.

When children are overly controlled the outcome might inspire the opposite by the time they’re adults. But, learning to be flexible and spontaneous as an adult takes first an awareness of what is going on and then constant practice to change your habits.

I remember many meals that I had planned to be served at a specific time, but when guests didn’t arrive on time it was impossible to serve at the pre-designated hour. I always felt as though the evening was ruined. The food wouldn’t be perfect and I couldn’t cope. I always wanted to cancel or reschedule the evening rather than start late.