It took me about five years before I let someone get close to me. We all heal at a different pace. No one knows why, but what I found was it was important was to heal completely before dating or especially getting involved in a relationship.

I moved to Hawaii and again, I fell in love within the first week I was there. Actually the very first night we went to one of the hotels for live music and this gorgeous man asked me to dance. He actually sang the song that was being played in my ear.

He asked to have dinner with me the next night and it was one of the most romantic relationships I’ve ever had. We spent evenings walking on the beach sipping champagne, he played classical music for me on his grand piano, we toured all the islands on his days off and we had amazing dinners out and over at his friends homes.

Okay, living in Hawaii had something to do with it, in fact more than I knew. We were together for five months before I had to return to California to see family.

He then came to California to look at some land, but the magic that was so prevalent in Hawaii was non existent when he came over. We were both disappointed but realistic and let the relationship end.

Because of my job at the University I met more than enough men, but I preferred to spend my free time with the friends from the band and the some of my neighbors who were all about the same age.

On Sundays I’d have about 30 people show up and we’d play flag football for a couple of hours and then make these amazing breakfasts. One Thanksgiving there was 45 people in my front room for a sit down Thanksgiving dinner. I’ve never had so much fun. Everyone was so much fun and there was never any drama.

So the idea of dating wasn’t a concern for quite awhile.

Then I fell in love and we hadn’t even dated. He was one of the guys who had lived near me and his family lived in Napa. He asked me to marry him after about a year later, but when he went home to tell his parents, he came back and broke it off with me because I couldn’t have children.

Life lessons are so difficult to understand at the time.

I managed to get through it by dating, a lot!