Maintaining Relationships

Often you can establish a pattern without being aware. Several years ago I was asked what had happened to me when I was five.

I immediately remembered a traumatic event when my mother tried to leave me with a neighbor who had been abusive and I finally threw a temper tantrum suitable for the Hall of Fame. It was a pivotal point in my young life. It was the first time I stood up for myself.

Consequently, I was married five years, single five years, married five years and then finally broke the pattern. But that was only after I became aware there was a pattern. I can’t help wondering if I had been aware prior, would I have lasted longer or shorter in each of the intervals?

I don’t think that is as important as knowing that I didn’t appreciate having a pattern dictate the course of my life.